Women are quite right when they complain that men are difficult to understand. Here are some very real explanations of typical things guys say and what they REALLY mean.
It’s a guy thing
Translated: “There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical.”
Can I help [...]
Never kick a fresh turd on a hot day.
There’s two theories to arguin’ with a woman. Neither one works.
Don’t worry about biting’ off more than you can chew. Your mouth is probably a whole lot bigger’n you think.
If you get to thinkin’ you’re a person of some influence, try order’in somebody else’s dog around.
Never ask [...]
Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, wine in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming ‘WOO HOO [...]
1) When I die, I want to die like my grandfather–who died
peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the
passengers in his car.” –Author Unknown
2) Advice for the day: If you have a lot of tension and you
get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle:
“Take two aspirin” and “Keep away from children.”
–Author [...]
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If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea…does that mean that one out of five enjoys it?
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Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren’t they just stale bread to begin with?
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If people from Poland are called Poles, then why aren’t people from Holland called Holes?
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If it’s true that we are here to help [...]